Yes, I almost relapsed a few weeks ago and here I will tell you how I almost relapsed and got past it.
It was one day a few weeks after my favorite cat, Mr. Cat, passed. I was trying my best to keep the demons from winning a battle within myself and that battle was one in which I figured I just could not contain myself from picking up that beer and drowning all my troubles.
I knew that it was winning and there was nothing in my power to stop it from happening. And it got super scary!
How I almost relapsed and got past it
First, if you are not aware of what a relapse is, it is this:
An alcohol or drug relapse is the recurrence of any addiction that has gone into remission or recovery. As a chronic disease, addiction is subject to periods of relapse. During the recovery process you may become exposed to certain triggers and other risk factors that increase your risk of returning to substance abuse.
Yes, it is a recovering alcoholic’s worst case scenario. One in which is known as “falling off the wagon” or for those that have been there, something that you never want to happen.
It was strange this time… One day I was fine and the next, not so fine. I just sort of snuck up on me. Like someone switching on a lightswitch. Yes, it happened just that quick and almost got the best of me.
I started questioning myself as to why I was even sober to begin with. All kinds of thoughts were going through my head that day.
Now, I did say “this time”. I have relapsed in the past and it is true what they say about relapse. It is a known fact that if you relapse and start back into an addiction that it is usually worst the second time around and it did get that way for me.
Other than that, it took me a whole day or maybe two to get past fighting with myself as my demons were closing in on winning against me but with an awesome support system and my determination to stay sober, I was able to finally push past the urges, thankfully!
How I got past it
Normally, I would have gone with the ol “milk and cookies” as that is how I got past my addiction plus many other things when first starting down this path of sobriety. This time was slightly different.
As stated above, I had an awesome support group and it was not the typical group yet something much better…My Fiance’, family and a few friends who know just what to say to me when I start to consider falling off the wagon. Normally I would tell someone to go to AA to get help or even maybe a doctor or maybe even a church leader at that but this time, I wanted someone closer than the normal group of people. Family and friends of mine know me better and just what to say to me to help.
It worked as well as my own determination to get past this difficult time in my life. The dangers of relapsing and the ability to get past it is one of those things in our sobriety that only strengthens our ability to stay sober! It never is easy to stay that way when all you can think of is to start drinking again for whatever reason.
I really had to dig deep down and pull myself back to remember how messed up my life had gotten before I decided to quit this go around. I almost had to scare myself, it was the only way it would work and it did!
Well, I just wanted to do a follow up on my last post about being depressed and on the verge of a relapse. I got passed it and wanted to tell everyone how I almost relapsed and got past it.
Thanks for taking the time to read this post as I really felt I needed to let everyone know how I was doing now.
I am happy and life is good and am now better equipped with the knowledge on how to beat my triggers and push past the urges to going back to that evil drink and my dead end life.
Stay sober my friends…
One day at a time 🙂
